Who am I and who did I replace myself with?

So funny thing happened yesterday…

I was talking to one of my BFF’s and she said... “Where is the old (insert name here) that use to co-sign all my craziness?”. All the way home, I kept thinking….Yeah where the hell is she? When did I become the person who asks… Why are you going to do that? What do you think (insert name here) is going to say? When did I start caring what other people think or want?

For all of you that don’t know this…. This is a startling revelation!! What the hell? Now my BFF attributed it to me getting engaged, but I know that is a bunch of BS. But what is it? Did this happen gradually or all at once? Has this way of thinking been creeping up on me slowly and then one day just ambushed me? Seriously, is the real me in a pod in someone’s basement?

I shutter to think that I might be living my life by the same rules that “they” follow…
I abhorred the thought that one day someone is going to call me to be talked OUT of something…

What happened to the person whose classic response was.. “Fuck it, what’s the worse thing that could happen?” Then when we thought through the worst case scenario…would easily justify all negative outcomes as fate or irrelevant.

I liked that person. I was fun. I took no prisoners. I hurdled that weak and trampled the dead. I was the friendly proclaimed “Queen of Justification”.

Now, who am I? Fuck…